“Got a Man That I Think I’m Gone Love Forever”

Girl. This is not a drill. It’s not a secret Pinterest board. I’m getting married.

On December 23rd, I thought we were having a small Christmas party, just a few friends, and family. To my surprise, Brian had been plotting (with the help of my mom, sister, and a few friends) to give me the biggest surprise of the year.

While we were planning the party, I had some suspicions, but my friends reassured me since they “didn’t know” about it, then I couldn’t possibly be right. Or that he wanted all of this extra stuff because “you know he’s a little fancy.” So I let the suspicions fade and continued on prepping and planning.

During the party, everyone did a good job keeping me distracted with food and champagne, so when the party guests began encircling me, I still didn’t know what was going on.

Oh! But when Brian started talking I knew something was up. You see, Brian is not a talker. He’s definitely not a “make a random speech” type of guy.

His speech was beautiful. Now, I would be lying if I said that I remember it word for word, (hello, champagne!), but I remember how everyone responded. My mom was crying, my sister was cheesing like a Chester cat, and my Aunt Betty hit us with a few of her signature “my, my, my!” exclamations.  He told the story of how we first met when he was a freshman and I was a sophomore in the Russell House Grand Market Place at the University of South Carolina. He spoke of how he and his friends gleefully reported to each other every time one of them saw me on campus.  How he and I finally connected at a mutual friend’s birthday party. Then finally, he recalled the moment he realized I would be his wife.

man and woman going to dinner
This was us circa 2007. We were headed to the Melting Pot for his 21st birthday.

I was on cloud 9! He had finally asked! After all the ups and downs, all the laughter and tears, all the explanations of “No, my son’s last name is Hayes, mine is Davis”, we were getting married!  I was literally walking on the air.


What Goes Up Must Come Down

My engagement high lasted for about 4 days. I had a goofy smile, I stared at my ring, and I practiced the word fiance in the mirror. I was floating. But just as it normally does, life quickly brought me back down to earth.

Langston, our son, didn’t understand what happened. You see, he was not interested in his mommy loving anyone else, he didn’t care that someone else was his father. And to top it off, his daddy had the nerve to give me a ring?!?That was something Langston has been saying he wanted to give me for a while. Langston was experiencing what some call “Oedipus complex” and unfortunately for all of us, his dad didn’t understand it and wasn’t having it. Thank goodness that it only last a few days and now he’s excited that his mom and dad are “getting marriage” and that his GiGi has promised to get him a ring as well. *insert eye roll*

But aside from playing referee with my guys, my mother got sick and was hospitalized for 3 weeks. So there was no time to worry about wedding venues and guest counts, my mother needed me. I am a firm believer that everything happens in perfect divine order, so, for all of these things, I am grateful.

Mama is getting better and stronger every day and things are starting to level back out. That means we are now back to focusing on the engagement and wedding planning.

Y’all! Why didn’t any of you warn me? There are SO many decisions to make! So many well-intentioned people asking SO many questions. Do you want a big wedding or a small wedding? Plated meals or heavy hors d’oeuvres? Stateside or destination? Do you even WANT a wedding? Dis tew merch.

Girl. The first few times Brian and I would start talking about it, we would immediately regret that decision and change the subject quickly.

Brian is the logical, thoughtful, traditional type and I am the dreamer, fly by the cuff, non-traditional type. So we were debating *side eye* about hypotheticals but getting real-life mad.

We really had to take a minute. We (read: I) had to realize that this was a journey. It is OUR journey, so there are no wrongs or rights, just what is best for us. Now, I can’t say that we have it completely ironed out, but we are more clear about what WE want and are fine with taking it one step at a time.

With all of that being said, let the planning begin! Because one thing I’ve already started to realize is that we aren’t just planning a wedding, but we are laying the framework for our little family and I can’t wait to share this journey with you.

xoxoxo,

Shanetra D. <-Soon to be H?
P.s. My sister and I went to my first bridal show (possibly only), bridal show. My sister was fun, but she was more concerned with candied bacon samples than table linens!

p.p.s. Since you and I are friends, feel FREE to share your tips, tricks, and advice for the wedding day and beyond!

For Glowing From the Inside Out

Tracy G Sway

Major key alert! – Meet one of the many friends in my head – Tracy G!

I first discovered Tracy G on the Bevy Says podcast, “Who You Calling a Slut, Loving Your Body & Owning Your Sexuality”, where they discussed body image, sexuality and feminism in pop culture. The show itself was extremely enlightening and motivational, I mean, these women were having this wonderful conversation about navigating your body image and sexuality without the constraints of someone else’s opinions and they allowed you to listen in. It was funny and educational and gave you so many nuggets for your personal repertoire.

Now, this show is not for the faint of heart, these are grown ladies using very colorful language, but you can check it out here.

Real quick, let’s take a moment of silence to pray that Bevy releases another episode soon. I LOVE her!

Wait, I thought this was about Tracy, who is she?

Tracy G dubs herself as “Self-talk Strategist. Edutainer. Trillass Individual.” She’s on the SirusXM show, Sway in the Morning and she is the creator of the brand “She’s Beauty and the Beast”.


She’s Beauty and the Beast is a “compilation of audio musings, lifestyle + personal development + social commentary and overall caffeine for the spirit, She’s Beauty And The Beast is a new, millennial wellness brand for those who could rock with an extra partner in progression.”

It. Is. Dope.

It is definitely a part of my morning (and sometimes afternoon) routines and I honestly can tell a difference in my psyche once I repeat the affirmations.

And since you are my girlfriend, I am going to share my favorite affirmations with you. *Full disclosure, she isn’t for everyone. She uses some words that I wouldn’t repeat in front of my mama, but I like her.*

 

 

And because I’m currently obsessed with all things Tracy, check out HER podcast here!

 

https://soundcloud.com/shesbeautyandthebeast

 

Here’s to glowing from the inside out!

 

xoxoxo,

Shanetra D

Vibrate Higher

 

“Remain so zoned out with vibrating higher that you have no time throughout your day to focus on negativity, drama, and petty things.” – Lalah Delia, Vibrate Higher Daily

My amazing photographer friend Jeanette of Jean B Photography posted this picture from a recent photography session and it took my breath away. Not in a vain, “I think I’m cute”, superficial way but in a,“wow, I can SEE the joy in my eyes.” I can actually see the manifestation of all the hard work I have been putting into becoming this positive, joyful woman.

Jeanette couldn’t have posted this picture at a better time. It was as if she knew I needed a little reminder. (Sidenote: Jeanette and I always joke that she has ESP, because this happens to us a lot.) 

This past week has been one test after another. Personally, professionally, relational – test, test, test. It became so much that I really questioned if I even wanted to be this high vibration, positive person – because let’s be real, it’s a lot easier to be petty. (Gimme a P-E-T-T-Y, I’m petty all the time!) But I took a moment to regroup, refocus and reaffirm my commitment to this journey.

And because we are on this journey together, I’ll share with you some of the ways I pull(ed) it together.

  • Prayer/Quiet Time – I don’t have a consisted time of day or a particular routine that I follow, but when I’m being tested, I try to take a few moments and sit still. I sit and sift through my thoughts; what is true about how I feel? Is this worth holding on to? –After I quiet my mind, I pray. I pray for wisdom, strength and guidance for my next steps.
  • Refocus my thoughts – Once I have slowed my thoughts down, then I begin to “take captive every thought” and replace the negative thoughts with positive ones. Instead of thinking, “man, I’m having a horrible day”, I try to think, “This is just a moment. This moment will pass. Today will STILL be a great day.”
  • Seek positive energy –  I am an energy snob.  I work really hard to make sure that I bring a light, positive energy to any situation that I am involved in, so I have NO time for negative, messy energy. I am very careful of the company I keep and the conversations that I entertain.  This means I curate what I see on social media (hello unfollow button!), I don’t get entertain every conversation and I am not interested in hanging out with certain people. At this point, it is almost instinctive to cut off negativity, because I have no desire to have it in my life.

Those are just a few ways that I make sure that I am exuding positive energy and vibrating higher. But what say you? What are some ways you guard your heart? Do you have any advice for blocking out the “negative Nancy” of the world?

Also,  let me know if you are interested in me sharing more of the ways I curate my social media and my digital space to ensure that I have positive energy online.

xoxoxo,

Shanetra D.

 

 

I’m Hopping Out of the Box

ShanetraD_JBP-6625 (1)

Hey lady!

So let’s get right to it, I know you are thinking, weren’t you just doing something called Breakfast Board? What happened to that? What you got going on, girl?

Let’s start from the beginning, I jumped into the blogsphere head first with my blog Breakfast Board, and my intention with Breakfast Board was to “create a place where you and I can get together and talk about life’s journey and leave the conversation a little better than when we started.” And though, that is still a focus of Shanetra D, it isn’t the only focus.I realized (the hard way) that I was forcing myself into a yet another self-limiting box.

Yes, I absolutely love relationship building and seeing the spark in someone’s eye when they start to talk about their “thing.” And I love getting together with my girlfriends to talk and hang out. But the truth is, I don’t see them as much as I would like to, and as much as I like to have meaningful conversations, I equally love foolery and shenanigans. So when I was brainstorming ideas for Breakfast Board, I realized that I needed to expand my brand to encompass all of the different aspects of me.

The other day, my friend and I were having a conversation and she stated that she had had an epiphany, she realized “she was multidimensional” and she accepted that it was okay. She went on to explain what she meant by that, and the more she talked the more clarity I got about Shanetra D.

I am multidimensional! So WHY wouldn’t my blog be? Why did I think that I could squeeze myself into any box?

I love deep, thought-provoking conversations AND quoting rap songs as I deem appropriate.

I buy organic food for my family BUT sometimes I crave a country breakfast from Lizard’s Thicket.

I have a playlist with Jill Scott, Kevin Gates, Travis Greene, John Coltrane, Beyonce, Joss Stone AND Hillsong United.

And. That’s. Okay.

All of these things make me who I am. And the more I live and learn about Shanetra D, the more I love her.

So I am inviting you along on this journey. We may have to grab our shovels and dig deep but I promise it won’t all be that way. We will have fun. Lots of it.

Are you ready? Comment below and let me know!

xoxo,
Shanetra D

How the Miss Naturally Crowned Pageant Encouraged Me to Be Unapologetically Authentic

Last weekend, my intentions behind attending the MNCC pageant were just to get cute and cut up with my friends. I expected to see some dope fros, intricate updos, fresh locs, banging shoes and to watch the ladies SLAY! What I did not expect was to receive so many reaffirming messages throughout the night.

Continue reading “How the Miss Naturally Crowned Pageant Encouraged Me to Be Unapologetically Authentic”