A Caterpillar Doesn’t Have Wings

Lately, I have been craving change. Personally, professionally, in my relationships, even spiritually. Everything around me felt different, but still looked the same. I didn’t know how to verbalize what I was feeling or why I had the overwhelming desire for change. I honestly felt like I was losing it.  That all turned around for me one day I when I went to church.

The Pastor was talking about mindset shifts and how we are in a season of thriving and not just surviving. I am paraphrasing, but in reference to change he said, “we think that change is just a series of adjustments here and there, but I’ve learned that true change involves a complete transformation.” Not just adjustments, complete transformation. A mindset shift. A 180° turn.

To further his point,he then went through the stages that a caterpillar goes through in order to become a butterfly. I’ll spare you the biology lesson, but the cute narrative of caterpillar eats leaves, forms a cocoon, gets its wings, THEN a beautiful butterfly emerges is only partly correct. You see, the way he explained it was that in the cocoon, the caterpillar completely morphed and changes its entire makeup. 

It doesn’t just grow a set of wings and boom!  It’s a butterfly.

No. Caterpillars don’t have wings. I repeat, a caterpillar does NOT have wings. In order for a butterfly to grow the caterpillar must die, it must completely transform. 

(Insert church shout!) Yesssssssss!!!

That was it! Everything around me felt different, felt new, because I am new.  I’ve entered a new season in my life and everything is new, I was just looking at it through my old lens. Because I hadn’t changed, I was beginning to get frustrated. I was beginning to resent my blessings. I was beginning to resent my relationships. I was trying to make adjustments, when I needed a complete mindset overhaul.

So what do I do? Now that I was armed with this epiphany, what was I going to do about it?

Well I did what any woman does when she’s about to change her life…I cut my hair. And not only did I cut my hair, I chemically relaxed my hair. After 12 years of being natural, I relaxed my hair.

I needed a visual change of what I already felt brewing inside of me. I am different. I have a new outlook on my life and the direction that it’s headed. Now hear me, I am in no way saying that merely getting a haircut will offer you a mindset shift. I am still actively doing the work, I am reading, praying, journaling, and going to therapy. The haircut was simply a optic change of what’s to come.

I am settling in on being a wife first and a mother second. I am re-connecting spiritually with God. I am walking the path to finding my purpose. I am doing all of this, all while trying to increase the joy in my life. I am no longer in a season of survival mode, I am thriving. I am a spreading my wings.

I can’t wait to walk this journey with you.

 

Shanetra

 

P.S. Please save the “why would you relax your hair” comments –I wanted something totally different, so that’s what I did. I had it done by a professional to ensure the health of my hair. PLUS! I have to choice to go back natural at any moment. It’s MY choice!  But for right now, I am going to rock my straight tresses.

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