I’ve been struggling to write this blog post for months. Five months to be exact. At first, I thought, “well, maybe I should give up blogging. I mean, it’s not like anyone reads it anyway.” So every time I had an idea or a thought about the blog I would file it away into the “I don’t do that anymore” column and move on.
But the thing is, I could never really ever move on. Inspiration would hit me in the most random places, like in the middle of a meeting at work, or while watching tv with my son. Ideas would flow freely into my head…until one day it stopped.
At first was a welcomed reprieve. I could focus on the wedding, focus on my family, focus on healing from all the major life changes I’ve experienced in the past year. I was able to shelve the inspiration for the blog and use that energy and mental space elsewhere. I was able to help friends with their endeavors, plan our wedding, be supermom, and be a productive 9-5 employee. It was nice.
Then I noticed a little nagging feeling in my stomach, first just an annoyance, but then it quickly grew into something I could not ignore. I married the love of my life, had a 7-day honeymoon in Mexico, and have begun to “build the life I desire”. – Except I wasn’t. Something was missing.
I missed creating. I wanted to create. But I was frustrated.
I had these desires, but no direction, no ideas. Then while chatting with a friend, it hit me. My life is in transition and I am having to figure out who I am all over again. And instead of fighting it, I’ve decided to write through the process. My life is changing, my interest and beliefs are evolving, and I’m (finally) excited about it!
I am ready to share more of my ever-evolving interests, my thoughts, and all my new adventures as Mrs. Hayes.